As far back as I can
remember I've never been much of a fan of Christmas, most holidays actually,
but Christmas is the big kahuna of holidays.
It's all of the pressure, cost, calories and time consumption of all the
others tied into a 36 hour period (I'm counting Christmas eve too). We get overly concerned with the
"right" gift, the "right" outfit, the "right"
meal, it's just got to be "right". There are hours and days of
movies, tv specials and music clouding the airways. We have mothers and fathers
working themselves to exhaustion with working and shopping and wrapping all in
the name of the Season (capital S is intentional). We debate on tv the "war on
Christmas" (IMHO total crap) and there are countless segments on finding
the perfect gift and how to find a bargain.
All in the best interests of corporate America and their goal to get all
of our money. Trust me, I'm a great
shopper, I love finding bargains but I get overwhelmed by the sales and
coupons. For years now I've vowed not to
set foot in a mall from 11/15 to 1/15 except for when Mike and I do our holiday
tradition. I have lovely people whom I love buying gifts for, friends, family,
nieces, nephews and co-workers. I would never hesitate to not give a gift but I
truly hate this time of year.
Mike and I have had
many, many, many discussions about why I don't decorate and why I don't just
love it like everyone else. Let me say
one thing first, I jokingly called myself a Grinch for a while but I would never
take holiday love away from anyone else. I would not begrudge someone their
love of Santa or snowmen or having 10 Christmas trees in their home, that's
just not what I want to do or to have around me. Mike is one of those Christmas guys, he loves
the decorations and the lights and I love that he loves it. This year I really talked to a few people
about it, I tried to make myself understand it and I realized that if I was just
honest then it made sense. If I was
honest with myself and with those around me I know I'm not alone. I hate the
holidays because they are bone crushingly lonely for those of us not coupled
up. This is not a Cathy woe is me
WAHHHHHH I need to eat ice cream moment.
This is honesty. The holidays are
made for couples and families. I am not
a couple and I am part of a family but I am not leading my own family. It's just me.
Trust me, I was very, very well loved this Christmas. I spent time with all the people I love the
most and was welcomed not only into my family but into three others as
well. I had a wonderful time catching up
with friends and family. I laughed and I was able to play and, like so many
others, eat and drink too much and give up on sleep. I was able to do all those things. But I didn't have that special someone to
share a look with or roll an eye at a sister in law or cousin.
I'm not complaining,
I don't want to do anything with this other than to share what your sister or
brother or nephew may be thinking if they dread the holidays. If your best
friend hates everything about Christmas telling her to put up a tree or not be
such a Grinch may not be the best way to handle it. Ask why, ask if they are
ok. This can, for some people be so much
bigger than just being alone like I am.
For some people the holidays are debilitating. I did some research and
all of the articles seem to talk about stress, high expectations, money
troubles and family triggers that seem to all come to a head during this time
of year. (Back to the concerns with getting things exactly "right".)
These triggers seem to hit at the same time when we are overwhelmed and the
weather is frightful and then the pressure sets in from everywhere, TV, Movies,
family, well meaning friends and even ourselves. Why can't I just be like
everyone else? Why can't I listen to Christmas carols? Why can't I want to
decorate and shop until I drop? What is
it about me that's broken? Listen gentle
reader (or reader's cousin) there is nothing wrong, nothing at all. We all
celebrate differently and hold different things in our hearts. There is no
right and wrong way to celebrate the holidays, it's whatever is true for your
heart.
Can we please
remember in the coming weeks that this is a tough time for everyone around, can
we try and be kinder and gentler? Can we try and be more patient and
understanding? Can we please just remember that everyone is dealing with their
own demons and fighting their own fights? This blog post is a bit scattered
like we all are at this time of year, and that's ok too. Be safe, be kind and be well in the new year.
No comments:
Post a Comment