Blog Change

Change to the web location for the blog, check out Not a Mother on Mother's Day at https://datingfitnesses.com/2016/05/09/not-a-mother-on-mothers-day/

Dating in the Digital Age

A couple weeks ago I decided to start dating again. In this day and age the easiest way to do that is to go online and with a little time, a credit card and some pictures you are there, profiles are setup and men are delivered to your inbox.  It's an odd thing, like picking someone out of a catalog.  I want someone who is 5'10" or taller, between the ages of 40-50 and living close to Omaha. It is possible to get more specific, college education, eye color, annual income are just a few that immediately come to mind. 

It's been interesting talking to people and to look at how the different sites work.  eHarmony makes you go through a bunch of questions to match you to people who meet specific criteria.  Match is a bit more open and I have received lots of a advice about Match. First off, and most telling is that if there is no photo then most likely the are married.  OMG really?  Can't cheaters go to Ashley Madison where they can meet other cheaters? Well, easy enough for me, immediate disqualification for no pictures.  Yet one more thing to be on the look out for.  This will be an adventure for sure! 

So to protect myself I have setup a separate email account that does not have my last name listed so that I can just be Michelle.  I've talked to a few people so far, texting and emailing outside the dating aps.  It's been interesting to get to know people. And the nerd in me may need to get a spreadsheet to keep everyone straight. 

So I had my first, first date in years last week.  It was nice.  The guy I went out with was really nice, very funny and we shared so many of the same pop culture references it was surreal.  He was so kind and nice and asked more than once if I was real because of my love of the comic book movies and shows (for future reference Deadpool followed closely by Ironman and Arrow slightly over the Flash).  Dinner was very nice and when he asked me to go out again I said yes.  All I could think was nice, did you notice that? Nice…I was hoping on our second date there would be some sparks but I realized that usually doesn't happen for me. Sparks are immediate or there is no attraction at all.  By Wednesday he'd texted that I was quiet and what was wrong, I was honest with him and it was one of the harder things I've had to do. As sucky as it is to be rejected it's really hard to say no thank you to someone. 

However a friend of mine pointed out that the worst thing that could happen would be to lead someone on and not tell the truth. I am glad I was able to tell him the truth, when we'd been talking we agreed that ghosting is the worst thing anyone can do, so at least I was able to say no thank you.   I'm also getting rejected, there are ways to just disqualify your profile immediately, you can send messages that don't get answered and that's fine too.  I keep thinking of the old sales statistics it takes 20 no's to get to a yes.  This could be a long process.   

It's an odd place to be with so much out there in the digital world, with very little searching I was able to find all kinds of things on Facebook, he was able to find limited things on me.  The last two men I've talked to immediately wanted me to friend them on Facebook, but that seemed way too intimate and way too fast.  Odd with all the things I share with Facebook that I'd hesitate to share with a potential boyfriend (side note boyfriend seems so young for being in my mid 40's but other words bum me out to quote Liz Lemon). But there are things on Facebook that I don't want shared with new people, especially if we haven't met yet. 

I think my Grama Pat summarized it best: Be patient Shellie, God's just getting him ready for you, I love you but you are a handful!  She's not wrong, then again, I don't think she's ever been wrong about me.  If nothing else I get to do a series of job interviews for a boyfriend for the next 5 months!  That is unless someone knows someone.  There's always hope that a referral works out!