I should remove the word should from my vocabulary. I really should. No good comes from the word should.
There are implications within the word, that somehow what I've chosen or what I'm doing is incorrect, for example instead of enjoying this birthday cake I should have just walked by. Or instead of enjoying skyping with a friend I should be writing a blog post. I should have brought my laptop home instead of riding my bike and enjoying the CWS. I automatically dread whatever it is that I should do and it adds guilt to what it is that I shouldn't be doing or at the very least the thing I am doing loses some of its shine.
Technically the word should means (from shall) to plan to. I don't mind having plans, anyone who knows me knows that it's Plan though, not plan. I learned that from my Granfur, that was his phrasing in looking at anything interesting, "What's the Plan?" I like that better. A Plan implies choices and deciding on a course of action instead of constantly worrying about a different decision.
So how to reframe things. I choose, tonight, to ride my bike. Here comes another should-I should have gone further than 10 miles. I swear this voice is killing me. Back to reframing. I choose a short ride on my bike knowing that there is no food in my house (no shock) and I will need to cook dinner. I could have chosen a longer ride, but I do not like to eat late so I need to be home by 7. So even in the midst of trying to reframe not bringing my laptop home I hit myself with another should. Very sneaky!
I've heard awareness is the key to change. I'm trying to be very aware of shoulding on myself and instead, take a breath, reframe what I'm doing into the Plan and look forward.
How about you? Do you should on yourself? How can we better embrace where we are?
