Falling in Love Again

I know this isn't shocking to anyone, but (like so many millions) I love Adele.  Her music is what we listen to when we need to cry, when we need to let it out.  I listened to her new song once and had to stop, but today I read a new interpretation of the song, that Adele is not signing to an ex boyfriend and trying to reconnect with him at all.  It's about Adele trying to reconnect with herself after a breakup. 

Relationships are wonderful and terrible and so hard.  When you are like me, and have been single for a while it's hard to balance friends with a new love and with family.  Like a typical 15 year old (or again all of us) I dropped everything for B. I tried to still keep a toe into my friends and family but with only getting to see him every other weekend and one of us traveling, our time together was sacred so, in a way, I stepped out of my life.  I was sitting at my cousin Aaron's football game today and realized that I don't get invited to things anymore.  Once you've said no or I’m busy too often then people stop asking. 

I feel like I need to make up with myself, learn to fall in love with my life and myself again.  It feels familiar to be disconnected though, I used to travel a lot for work and I missed so much that I have been disconnected for a while.  If you read the lyrics with the spin towards Adele talking to herself it's exactly what I’m feeling. 

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?

I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free

I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet-Adele

This is what we do, we give all to a relationship and when that rug is yanked from our feet we stumble, we crash to the floor and we fall apart.  A friend was asking what she could do to help, how could she make me feel better and it hit me, I've drifted so far from my center that I just don't know.  I can't tell her, I have no idea what will help.  Stupid time will, but that's about all I know.

I've been thinking a lot lately about falling in love and what we do when we start to fall.  If you really stop and think about it, when we fall in love with someone, all we want is to be with them and learn everything we can.  How often have you said we finish each other's sentences? We can communicate with a single look? He knows me inside out? I know I've said and felt all of those things, they are true. I'm not even on the same planet as being ready to feel that for someone else again.  But  maybe I want to feel that about myself? What if I want to fall in love with myself?  I think I've started in the right direction. I'm writing again and I started painting, watercolors are really fun.  And tomorrow is another exciting adventure, I signed up with a personal trainer.

This blog will get back to some of what I'd originally pictured it as, me being super cranky about having to work out.  The creative side of me is being nurtured and cared for, my actual job is a going well so now I want to work on getting physically stronger. 

What can you do to fall in love a little bit with yourself?