Hate at 35 MPH

Spring is springing in Omaha, today was 70 and after a quick morning workout and lunch I thought I'd take my ponytail swing outside and see what it's like to run outside instead of that hated treadmill. It's wickedly windy but a beautiful day. The sun is shining, I have my favorite running jacket on, my new kicks and P!nk blaring in one ear (safety first) of course.

I round the back of the lake at Heartland of America at my slow pace and head towards the former Rick's Boatyard.  I've finished my 10 minute guided run and 5 minute walk and I slowly start to run again, crossing the street and finding a sidewalk to head back to the city when I hear it, the Camaro slows and I hear "Fat Ass" and "Breaking concrete" before he guns the gas and passes me, turning left on 9th street.  And there it is again.  I've heard it before shouted from car windows.  

The first time was when I was 15 and walking home from work, then I was also a "Fat Ass."  I went home, cried myself to sleep with whatever snack foods I had in front of me.  In college, my boyfriend and I were just taking a walk on campus and we heard "Lose some weight" shouted from a window again the car sped away.  And now today.  I'm sad now and probably will be for a few days.  Honestly angry too-wondering how small their penises are and what would drive someone to do that to a stranger.  

So I thought about small penis Camaro driver the whole way back, and I ran much farther than I had planned to, my own version of the finger I suppose.  I hate how it makes me feel, like I am less than by being too much.  Once again I feel like I should apologize for my existence.  But it feels different this time, feels like I'm not the one to apologize.   It occurred to me that Camaro was out driving, and I was out, pony tail swinging and moving.  I was investing in being 80 by taking care of me and making myself feel better without hurting anyone else, and without hurting me in the process.  

So what good can come from this?  I will challenge each of you, when you see anyone out trudging along by the side of the road or on a treadmill at the gym or anywhere working on moving, send them love.  For me, send them good will and good wishes that they keep on moving.  You never know, it could be me you are wishing well.