But Why???

It's been an interesting year, no this isn't the year in review that I'm currently plotting, but just a comment on how far I've come in just a short year.  What I’m proud of right now is that I can admit I've signed up for too much. A couple weeks ago I talked about participating in NANOWRIMO.  Yea, that ship sailed for me.  I haven't had a chance to write lately and have missed several days, ok-a week.  That puts me behind by about 14,000 words.  Not insurmountable but if I’m honest about my calendar the next few weeks, I don't want to take the time to make up the words. I'm making a choice to not finish. I’m taking time to do what I need to do for me.  I have lots of things going on that I'm going to choose right now.  I'm not quitting my writing, I think I have a great start to something. But for right now I am choosing to quit this crazy challenge and refocus on me. And frankly I miss poetry. 

What am I focusing on instead? Thanks for asking. I have hired a trainer and she's set some aggressive goals with me, that makes me want to get back to the gym, to sweating and lifting heavy things.  I started with Laura last Thursday and I figured out something by Friday morning. I am stubborn and want to finish all the sets and I don't speak up enough.  I could barely walk by Saturday from six sets of squats and three sets of lunges.  Yesterday my triceps started screeching at me and I'm still sore, it's not quite that I can't straighten my arms but I'm very aware of the muscles in my arms.  My trainer is out of town until Sunday so it’s up to me to make sure that I honor my commitment this week for myself.  So this week I am going to lift weights three times and get three days of cardio in.  I'm envious of people who can work out in the mornings, that is so not me at all. I have had people beg me to stop working out in the mornings because I tend to stay cranky all day.   

I'm excited to get back in the swing again, I have a few weddings coming up next year and I have a picture of how I'd like to look, I know how I'd like to feel and that's most important. I'm not doing this for anyone but me.  I went to see Jillian Michaels speaking last year and she said something that stuck with me, she said you need to figure out YOUR why.  Not the great honorable I'd like to be healthy or live a long life. Those things are far too soft, they are too theoretical.  Your why needs to be tangible or even somewhat shallow.  You have a reunion coming up and want to look good, you have a party or your daughter is getting married. Thankfully I don't have a reunion for a while but there are some holiday parties coming up and, so far, 2 weddings next year.  I'd really like to have something that's not my normal wedding gear to wear.  I'd like a blue dress or maybe a red one.  What makes me smile in all this is that I'm not doing this to meet a man or please anyone else.  I'm doing this for me and no one else.

So if you want to make a change, if you want to do something different is there a tangible reason to make the change? Is there something, no matter how shallow, that will inspire you to make a change? Are you tired of wearing all black? Are you tired of not being able to wear knee high boots? Would you like to be able to take the stairs and not worry about breathing heavy? Do you want to wear a swimsuit? Do you want to be able to go sleeveless? Do you have an event with an ex and want to make them eat their heart out? Do you want to fit into that dress for that thing? You have to have the compelling reason and being healthy sometimes just isn't enough.

What's YOUR why?