Repress and Deny

So, one way that I deal with stress is to repress and deny.  This week was no different, I had a sore calf, immediately assigned it as a pulled muscle (although I had no injury), and ignored it. By Wednesday I was swelling in addition to my sore calf, and ignoring my internal instinct that it may be more serious I continued to do my normal daily routine.  Finally my dear friends at work convinced me to go to the doctor, and to my dismay, my diagnosis was deep vein thrombosis. Well, the clot broke off and then caused a Pulmonary Embolism as well. Oh the joy!

So overnight in the hospital I learned a few great things.  In talking to the pulmonary doctor I was able to correct his assumption that I was sedentary. Well, two of my besties, Darcy and Deanna, very quickly corrected him when he suggested that I exercise more.  Darcy pointed out that I am training for RAGBRAI (a bike ride across Iowa totaling 425 miles) and Deanna told him that I ran the Lincoln ½ marathon.  He looked a little surprised and then said, “ok so you are fit and an athlete”. I smiled and said, “yes, yes I am”. Actually what I said in my head was, “don’t let the body fool you I really am an athlete”.

So the doctor prescribed slowing down, five minute walks at a time.  I thought that the doctor was exaggerating but last night I walked up a one block hill that I’ve walked up a hundred times and had to stop and rest at the top. Ok, so the doctor is right, I need to slow down.

The other great thing I learned while over night in the hospital is how far I’ve come in my fitness journey.  I know some of you who follow me on Facebook have heard about my involvement in FitMinded (www.befitminded.com).  Dr. Jennifer Huberty started this program years ago at UNO and I was lucky enough to be in one the sessions led by her.  FitMinded is a program for women, it’s a book club about fitness. Not weight, not food but how women can create the time and urgency to be fit. I’m blessed at this point to be facilitating a Fit Minded session and will be doing another one this fall (get ready to sign up!).  FitMinded gave me the confidence to realize that no matter what I’m doing, moving my body is better for me than sitting on the couch (unless I’m writing my blog post).  FitMinded got me active again. Facilitating FitMinded is what got me to do the Lincoln ½ marathon and commit to RAGBRAI.

So the tie between two blood clots, RAGBRAI and FitMinded was very clear to me in the hospital.  I realized that my main concern when released from the hospital was when I could start riding and running again. How long am I going to be confined to the life I used to lead on my couch?  As you get no sleep in a hospital I had lots of time to think about this and I could clearly see how far I’ve come.  My body may have not changed much but I am strong, strong in my body, strong in my mind. Watching the Echocardiogram and seeing my heart beat strong and regularly I know that being active allowed me to have this strength.  What I learned from FitMinded is that I am strong, I am capable and that this minor little setback will not send me back to the old Michelle, (we broke up, remember?) but I will listen and follow the doctors orders exactly and continue to take care of my health by eventually getting my heart pounding again!